Monday, June 18, 2007

Outward Bound and Beyond on the Toxic Bus

Greetings everyone.

I apologize for not posting in a while. I have been suffering from a serious bout of Culture Shock with a side of massive depression. But everything is good now. They are right when they say Culture Shock is a very real phenomenon. I can actually follow my progress with my TESL book. Scary.

Not much has been happening until the last few weeks. And I now have the time to write about it.
The other week my adult students and I went on a field trip to have a BBQ. I was super excited about this as it has been ages since I have had BBQ. It was fun, but unfortunately not what I expected. I was expecting a nice quiet park with trees and a picnic table; it was instead a small little amusement park. There were many people there, lots of dust and dirt, no grass. Some interesting attractions but not many. The BBQ itself was really funny, it was a small metal box with coal and embers inside and a small opening at the bottom of one side. You had to grab a piece of cardboard and wave it frantically in front of the opening to force oxygen into the embers which would in turn heat up and ignite the coal. It usually took several minutes to get the thing going and you would have to keep doing it while you cooked. So you can imagine how uneven the heat distribution was, resulting in many a burnt food item. They also have the strangest idea as to what is good to BBQ and what is not. I loaded up on sausages as it is the only thing here that is really similar to back home. They had a bit of sausage but then broke out the slices of potato, shrimp, banana and lettuce (yes I said banana and lettuce). If you have never tried to BBQ a leaf of lettuce it is interesting to say the least. They also have containers that include cooking oil, hot spices, salt and another kind of spice. It was all pretty good just very unusual. The slices of potato were excellent when constantly soaked in cooking oil and sprinkled with salt. Tasted just like potato chips. All in all it was a fun day though and the students really enjoyed it as well. One of the attractions we did was awesome. You have to crawl into this large rubber bubble which they inflate and seal up, then they roll you into the water and you get to goof around for a while, trying to stand up, walk etc… It was a blast.

Last weekend Mike and I went camping with the girls from the office. It was fun but again not what I expected. There is never any grass in this country where there should be grass. Just more sand, dirt and dust. The BBQ’s at the camp site were a little more advanced as you did not have to fan them, but that is only because they were already filled with hot coals. Again heat was uneven which resulted in more burnt food. But we managed to find real French’s Mustard at a store here which was a smashing success, everyone loved it. We also bought marshmallows from the same store and introduced them to toasted marshmallow for the first time. It was met with mixed success. Coco and Christina liked them but Maxine did not saying they were too sweet. which I found incredible as many things here in China are sickly sweet. Including nearly all of the bread. They even put sugar on tomatoes not salt…ugh.

There were no fire pits or wood so we could not have an actual campfire which I was looking forward to having. And as before this all took place in a small amusement park. This included an Ostrich farm and a ton of little rides and things. One of the things I got to try was BBQ ostrich meat, which was pretty good. We bought some Canadian Ice wine from the import store which was really damn good. And cheap, it only cost 40 RMB ($5.75 CDN)! Which I find hilarious as it costs a fortune back home. It was also a red ice wine not a white which I had not seen before. The wine was met with mixed success as well. Coco and Maxine really liked it but Christina did not.

The activities were fun. They had the really big inflatable globes that you crawl into and they roll you down a big hill. It was a blast. They also had bumper boats and cars, Dune buggies, Horseback riding, ATV trails, zip lines, rope and wire bridges. The works. The kinds of stuff you always want to try back home but are too expensive to consider, you can do it all here on the cheap. One thing I was not impressed about was the small arena for animal fights such as cock fighting and dog fighting. The wall of the arena was covered in large photos of various animals ripping each other apart in cruel violent glory. Luckily no such event occurred while we were there. The days were spent doing all of the activities with Christina using her superb haggling skills to get us cheap rates for everything. The large inflatable globe was normally 50 RMB ($7.19 CDN) per person. Pretty expensive here considering you only get to go once. But she managed to talk them down to 10 RMB ($1.44 CDN) each. It was great. One night I walked off and spent many hours by myself in quiet contemplation still feeling the effects of the culture shock. Maxine eventually found me and we talked for many more hours about a great many things which helped a lot. It was a good trip but if you think you get dirty camping in Canada you get absolutely filthy here in China. Everything is dust and dirt and when you sweat it all sticks to you. It was an excellent, extremely long shower when I got home.

The last three days were spent Outward Bound with the young students from the school and it was an amazing trip. I had always wanted to go to Outward Bound and I am glad I finally got a chance to. I enjoyed it so much that I may instruct outward bound for a living when I go home. All of the students had to make up a new name for themselves and we had to do the same except it had to be in Chinese. Using my extremely limited vocabulary I chose “Tang Cu Li Ji” which means “Sweet and Sour Pork”. I couldn’t think of anything else plus the kids and the instructors got a good kick out of it so it was good. The instructors were all ex-military and were really great. Mike and I did not do much the first day as everything was in Chinese and we couldn’t understand. But that night we met with the instructors and discussed how we could participate more. I volunteered to be the activity guinea pig and perform all of the activities first so the kids could see what had to be done and how to do it. I was also nominated to be their English drill instructor and taught them all the English military formation commands such as Attention, about face, roll call etc… (My army of Chinese children is closer to becoming a reality). I also did their drills with them such as running, marching etc… I got more exercise in the last three days than I have in the last few years, and it feels good. I will definitely be keeping this up.

The first night we finally got the campfire I have been craving and had a big party. The kids had to take turns performing for everyone and so did Mike and I. Having no performing talent what so ever I had no idea what I was going to do. Luckily one of the instructors earlier that day had taught me a new skill during one of the activities. That skill was writing words in the air using just your ass by imagining there is a brush or pen in it. It was fun and educational for the kids so Mike and I did that for our performance. We of course added our own constipated grunting noises as we did it which had everyone rolling on the floor laughing including Maxine, Coco and Christina. I did a second word for them telling them it was very difficult and not to try this at home. Just as I began, the instructor running the sound system started playing a drum roll which had me laughing and nearly in tears. He didn’t speak any English but some things like writing in the air with your ass just seem to transcend language I guess.

The facility we were at was gorgeous and the area was beautiful. As far as I could tell the whole area used to be a military installation as there were guard towers, communication buildings and I think a bunker or two in the distance. The next day we began the activities I was dying to try, like the bridge jump. You’re about two stories in the air with a tiny platform extending out, a gap and then another platform on the other side. You have to jump to the other platform. It was really nerve racking but fun as hell. I went first of course being the guinea pig, but went a second time because it was fun. I also did one activity that no one else did which was a balance beam two stories in the air from one tower to another. That one was crazy and it was a good thing I was tethered. The last one was the leap of faith. You climb up a very high pole to a tiny little platform at the top. You stand up on the little platform, the whole thing swaying back and forth because of the added weight and you have to jump and grab onto a small handle hanging from an overhead support. I love these activities.
The afternoon of the last day the students were gathered into the training room and the trainers finished their lesson. Sad music was playing and the students were told to think of five things they loved most such as family and parents, and then told to delete each one in order of importance and imagine losing that thing forever. All of the students were crying by the end and told to join hands to comfort each other. Even Maxine, Coco and Apple were crying. Since it was all in Chinese I don’t know what exactly was said but I understood the meaning and importance of the exercise. We are at are most vulnerable when we are crying, no defenses. To share an experience like that with a group of people gives you all a special bond. Plus there might be an emotional tempering aspect by tearing you down and building you back up again. It was an amazing trip and I’ll never forget it. The food was great as well.

The bus ride home everyone spent sleeping, whether from being tired or the exhaust fumes leaking into the bus I do not know. Since I don’t remember. (Just kidding) But the fumes were pretty bad. Ah China.

Stay tuned.

Friday, May 18, 2007

English Corner Bloodsport

So I attended my first English Corner this week. English Corner is where people go to practice speaking English. It is usually held on College or University campuses but can also be held in parks, coffee shops or wherever else people feel like getting together. I went with a friend of mine named Renato since he had been to other English Corners before. We finally found where we had to go on campus walked up to the group already gathering. Instantly we were swarmed and the barrage of questions began. Where are you from? What is your favorite food? What is your country like? What sports do you like? etc….

We all ended up talking and asking questions for well over two hours. It’s very exhausting to be constantly bombarded with questions nonstop. But it was an awesome experience and a lot of fun. The fight at the end was not though, eight guys not part of the English Corner started fighting with three guys also not from the English Corner. The eight guys had pipes the other guys didn’t. It broke up fairly quickly and some people called an ambulance for the guys on the receiving end. One guy had a massive gash across his head and there was blood everywhere. Definitely surprising even for the students there, you could tell they were all embarrassed it even happened.

Went to a city outside ZhengZhou today called Kai Feng. Finally a city with old Chinese architecture!! It was beautiful. Unfortunately it was a whirlwind trip and I didn’t have time to take really good pictures. But I will definitely head back there later with Mike to get some great ones.

More to come.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Chinese is Difficult

I had a few requests for an update so I will endeavour to do so, although not much has happened since my last post.

I have taken a few Chinese classes now and I am learning more helpful phrases. Such as:

qing (3) wen (4), zhe(4) ge duo(1) shao(3) qian(2)? - Excuse me, How much is this?

tai(2) gui(2) le - Too expensive

wo(3) yao(4) mai(3) zhe(4) ge - I will take it

It is difficult to learn. For example “eng” actually sounds like “ung”. “Zh” is pronounced like a “J”. So the city I am in, Zheng Zhou. Is actually pronounced as “Jung Jo” even though it is not written that way. Many interesting new sounds to get used to as well. Then you have the tones. I hate the tones, they are the most difficult part for me. I will show you what I mean.

Above I have numbers in brackets following each word. These represent the tones to use when saying that word.

(1) is flat and constant there should be no change in your tone when saying this word. It is usually said a little above mid range and you should slightly extend the word. Don’t say it too quickly

(2) is up. Your tone should start mid range and rise through the word and finish at a high tone by the end. (This is the hardest one for me.)

(3) is down then up. Your tone for this word should start about mid range, go low in the middle and return to the original tone by the end of the word.

(4) is down. Start mid range and go low by the end of the word. Say this tone hard and fast. (I am best at this one)

Put all the tones in with the words and your speaking Chinese. Do not get the tones wrong however. A different tone gives the word a different meaning and could mean nothing even remotely close to the word you want.
It’s easier if you hear the tones but that is a general overview of speaking Chinese.
I will continue to learn and get better but it is going to take a while for sure.
Classes are still going well and everything is great. I am getting comments from more and people which is great. Keep them coming.

Till next time.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

The Dark Side of the Men's Room

Okay, so this title requires some explanation so let me set the stage.

Last night Mike and I headed out to The Class Bar. A club we frequent with good atmosphere and staff. Plus our buddy King works there. So Mike, Sandy, CoCo and I headed there and were shown to the seats that King had set aside for us. We ordered our beer and settled in for what is always a good time. After about an hour, Sandy wanted to leave. Class Bar was not her cup of tea I guess, so we left and I figured we were just going to head home. (To my disappointment).

However that was not the case. Instead Sandy took us to another club called “Enjoy” a club she had frequented in the past apparently. “Much better than Class” she said. So we went in and I was already skeptical because there wasn’t even music playing. But we found a seat and were about to order drinks when Sandy started talking to the wait staff. It turns out the table we were at had a minimum purchase price to sit there. Something like 300 RMB ($45.50 CAN) I think. Pretty stupid idea as far as I was concerned, wasn’t even a good seat. So we got up and were about to leave until Sandy started talking to the manager at the door. She talked him into getting us a different seat that we didn’t have to “pay” for. Sandy is an awesome negotiator.
Now that the stage has been set and the story told up to this point. We can get to the reason for the blog title.
After drinking for a while, nature called as it is want to do. So I made my way to the bathroom. (Or WC as it is known here.) No biggie same as usual. I stepped up to the trough which is basically a wall with water running down it which you urinate on that ends in a sunken trough for lack of a better word. No dividers but hey who cares that’s not the weird part...

But this is.

I’m doing my business and suddenly this guy comes up behind me, says something in Chinese, throws a hot towel across my neck and begins massaging my shoulders. Having absolutely no idea what’s going on and being utterly shocked that some guy is actually touching me in the men’s room while I’m still in the process of going to the bathroom. I defer to my limited knowledge of Chinese custom and mannerisms and decide I’m not being attacked, so I let him continue while I finish and zip up my pants. Preparing to lay him out on the floor should the need arise. He keeps massaging my shoulders then proceeds to tilt my head back and crack my neck in both directions like a Chiropractor would do. This took me by surprise but he was very good at it, and anyone who knows me, knows I like going to the Chiropractor. He went back to massaging my neck, back and shoulders which was very relaxing then showed me to the sink where I could wash my hands.

I never in a million years thought that would be a service offered in a men’s room, but it was. I tipped the guy 20RMB ($3.00 CAN). It was the smallest bill I had and went back to our table. Not sure what to think of the entire experience, I went to tell Mike about it but burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. The ramifications of doing such a thing in North America were hilarious to think of, not to mention the whole experience itself. Sandy and CoCo were already smiling so I’m sure they knew ahead of time what I was in store for. I managed to calm down a little and told Mike what happened, finishing the story with, “He was good and very gentle”. =)

Needless to say the world can be a very strange place.

The next day Mike, Christina, CoCo and I headed out to lunch at a restaurant called “Golden Hans”. This place was amazing, it was huge. All the waiters wore these cowboy costumes and the waitresses these schoolmarm dresses or some such. The menu seemed to be fixed and they just keep bringing all of these differently prepared meats to your table. Which included Beef, Pork, Chicken, Duck, Lamb, Boar, Chicken Heart (which was very good) and an amazing calamari or octopus meat. And get this….they bring it all out on SWORDS! *wipes tear from eye* It was awesome. The meat is skewered on these swords and they just hack some off onto your plate. I was in heaven, not only did I get to eat a ton of meat. (Something that is few and far between in the local cuisine). But it was carved off swords! Nothing gets better than this….. Oh wait. Yes it does. This place also brews their own beer and it’s FREE with you meal!! Free and good! To supplement your meal there is a buffet with all sorts of salads, noodles, veggies etc... It was excellent and I highly recommend it to anyone that visits ZhengZhou. I plan to return many, many times. It was very well priced as well, the entire meal for all four of us totaled 120 RMB ($18.20 CAN). Very little considering twelve beers last night cost 200 RMB ($30.30 CAN).

This just keeps getting better and better. Stay tuned for more.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The Daily Grind

It’s been a while so it’s time for an update.

I have been teaching for roughly two weeks now. I love it, it’s always fun and interesting and my students are great. I am now settling into my normal schedule and things are running smoothly.

Last weekend I went to visit one of our branch schools in a neighboring town about three hours away. That was an interesting trip. There was not much to the town and it was very dusty and extremely cold. I was cold all weekend and couldn’t get rid of the chill I had. The apartment I stayed in didn’t even have heat the first night. As such I am now sick AGAIN! Mike told me he has been there twice already and every time he gets sick. So I guess it’s just par for the course.

Teaching while I was there was interesting. It was a pretty large school with typical North American size classes (20 to 30). I did not do as well as I hoped I would, but being my third and fourth day of teaching ever, I guess I was pretty good. I was never nervous which really surprised me, I figured I would be. But with some of the classes I was just completely lost. I have never taught kids before and I don’t know the curriculum, so do they learn animals first? Colours? Numbers? are they even following a popular curriculum? These are the questions that were racing through my mind. Plus I never had prep time for any of the classes so I was just flying blind. Luckily Maxine was there to help me.

The schedule was hectic. I spent 20 minutes in every class and went to a new class after that for another 20 minutes. This was all day Saturday and Sunday in the morning. Every class was at a different level as well. Some it was their very first day of English class others had been learning for two years and the rest were somewhere in between. It was probably one of the most mentally taxing things I have ever done. Saturday I felt like crap, I was very disappointed in myself. It seemed Maxine was very disappointed in me as well. I was exhausted and cold. It was not a good day at all. Maxine said I could head back to the apartment if I needed to, but that would be the same as admitting defeat and I was not about to let that happen. I think she may have been testing me with that as well, but maybe not.

Sunday was much better. I had a better idea of what was going on and I think I did a really good job. My second last class made all the difference in the world to me though. The students were great, we played a game that Maxine taught me and had a blast just learning. They didn’t want me to leave when my time was done either. Their teacher Apple told me after my last class I had to go back to their classroom because the students wanted to see me again. That was an amazing experience. I walked back into the classroom and all the students rushed me with their books in hand. They wanted me to sign their books for them, the students wanted my autograph. It was incredible, they were all cheering and carrying on. Many of them were shouting “I love you, I love you”. One boy even managed to kiss my cheek which was pretty disconcerting. But this goes back to the Chinese sense of personal space hinted at in my previous post. Very different from North America. The other teachers even yelped “Oh my god” when he did it because they were so surprised too. It was funny. I had my picture taken with a bunch of them and then it was time to head back home to Zheng Zhou, my apartment and my nice warm bed.

That class single handedly restored my confidence, reinforced in me why I was here and what a blessing the ability to teach truly is. I will never forget that class for as long as I live.

That’s it for this entry. Stay tuned for more.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Welcome one and all to my web blog

Welcome one and all to my web blog!!

To bring everyone up to speed I am originally from Newmarket Ontario, Canada. And have been in China for a grand total of three weeks and loving every minute of it. I have always wanted to travel and see the world ever since I can remember so a few months ago I decided I was going to make that happen. Now traveling is outrageously expensive and I could not afford to do this with my savings. (I don't have any) So I started looking into teaching English abroad to help finance my travels. The more I researched the more I liked what I saw, so I enrolled in Oxford Seminars TEFL course to gain a better understanding of what I was getting myself into. The course was great and it should help a great deal during my time away from home.

China, what can I say about China? This country is amazing the people here are incredibly nice and very helpful, something you don't encounter very often back home. Being a foreigner here is a very interesting experience particularly in the city where I am located called ZhengZhou. Many of these people do not encounter foreigners very often and I am always amazed by the level of curiosity displayed. People will stop and watch you as you go about your business, point and whisper something to each other. Many smile at you, wave or even say "hello" to you. If you listen carefully to random conversations you may hear "Lao Wai" which simply means foreigner. Yep they're talking about you. I am told this is less prevalent in the more major cities such as Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong because there is a greater number of a foreigner in those cities.

The places here are amazing as well with many interesting things to see. I even had the opportunity this past week to go to an old rural Chinese farm for a New Years get together. The farm and the way these people live has not changed much in the last hundred years. I even had the chance to see an old style Chinese kitchen which was basically a very large metal bowl suspended over a wood burning fire. Very Cool. While I was there I also had to hang the New Years decorations on the doorways using a home made paste, (which I think was made from animal fat) and apply it with a brush made out of reeds. It was an amazing experience.

However the best experience I've had so far during my time here is easily New Years Eve. The Chinese know how to celebrate to be sure. The sheer amount of fireworks used here is overwhelming. On New Years Eve I saw more fireworks that night than I have seen in my entire life. And Chinese fireworks are not the same as North American ones. They are ten times more powerful, travel only half as high and are everywhere you look. Some of them are basically just half a stick of TNT which are really loud and a lot of fun. To top it all off the fireworks are always going, during the day, during the night and so far for seven days straight. It’s amazing.

Now that my blog is up I will be posting as regularly as possible. And don’t worry they will probably be much shorter from here on out.

Stay tuned for more Crazy Chinese Adventures.